EVERY now and then the discussion heats up about what makes humans different from the apes. It usually starts with Phillip Adams on his Radio National Late Night Live program and is then considered further by the in-depth sections of the Saturday edition of this paper.
Apart from finding that there is a difference, the hope is that humans are smarter than apes. Louise is convinced that we're well ahead of the apes, but Charlie thinks the jury is still out. He says every time he looks at the road toll, world poverty and wars in places like Afghanistan, he is convinced that the apes wouldn't be that stupid.
The argument raged between the two of them all week, but at least they are talking to each other for the first time this year - even if it is at 130 decibels. While they debated, I was sitting in the front row of the David Jones fashion parade and two things became blindingly obvious about the difference between us and the apes.
First. We wear clothes and they don't. And second, we like brands - not just any old skin covering thing. Human beings love branded products.
The parade lasted for a withering 30 minutes, with 145 spectacular outfits and 24 different brands on show for the winter. To some of us they might just be clothes, or ''apparel'' as they call it in the trade. But not to Louise who was with me. She left buzzing about the whole show, while it was just a blur to me. If it hadn't been for David Jones chief executive Mark McInnes telling me that the big movers this year will be boots and leather, I would not have known the difference.
Women deserve our respect because they get brands better than do males. So what does this brand thing mean? Well, if you get it right you make a lot of money.
Consider the debate about the TV network licence rebate. Sure, they all make money, but it's the No. 1 brand, Channel Seven, that makes the most and gets a premium for doing it. Its 38 per cent share of television revenue is more than its share of the audience by about 2 percentage points.
Nine Network is trying hard but still losing in this race. It has 34 per cent of the audience but only 32 per cent of the money.
Put simply, by being the No. 1 brand, Seven has a percentage shift to it of about 3 per cent of revenue. That's an extra $100 million nationally.
That doesn't make Seven chief executive David Leckie the $100 million man, but it makes him and his people fairly valuable.
And what about AC/DC? First started in 1973 as a simple rock band, their current tour of 11 concerts will sell 200,000 tickets. But it's the brand and the merchandise that are worth the most.
The red horns alone in Melbourne made nearly $1 million and the whole deal with their new Black Ice CD will gross $6 billion. That's six times the GDP of the nation of East Timor with its new oil and gas wealth.
To the marketers who are going so strong on house brands as a short cut to profit by cutting out the big brands, have another think about it. It's a good idea not to treat your customers as if they are all gorilla beringei graueri.
Harold Mitchell is the executive chairman of Mitchell Communication Group.
