Photo: Quentin Jones
Some say good manners and proper etiquette are out of style - banished to the attic with starched white blouses and business suits.
Not so, according to etiquette consultants Lila Putney and Libby Marth of The Protocol School of Virginia in Richmond.
"Many individuals and companies are realising the importance of mastering both business and social etiquette skills," says Libby. "They are paying more attention to how they present themselves and how they interact with others. Dining skills are also important as more companies include a dining experience as part of the interview process.
"Also, in the last decade, there has been a need to establish etiquette rules as they relate to the use of new technology, such as mobile phones and the internet. Etiquette for more casual work environments has been challenging to many individuals and the corporate world."
Here are some tips from Putney and Marth for the 10 most common
social situations that make people feel uncomfortable and how to
deal with them:
1. What should I wear to work?
Even though casual attire is favoured today in many
settings, it's still important to dress professionally - everyone
from staff to boss - in the workplace. It's better to be
overdressed than undressed; avoid clothing that's too revealing or
flamboyant. Dress appropriately outside the workplace, too.
Leggings pants and exercise clothing belong in the gym; an exposed
midriff looks cute on a five-year-old but not on anyone over the
age of 23.
2. Is that my phone ringing?
Mobile phone abuse is common these days - ringtones or
music everywhere we go, people talking loudly in offices, stores,
banks and even restaurants. Public mobile phone use intrudes on
your personal space. But stop and think before you reprimand the
user; in public places such as a restaurant or theatre, alert
management and let them deal with the abuser.
3. Who are you?
We have all been in awkward situations where we don't know
a person in a group. At business and social events, introduce
yourself and other people to the group; include something about
yourself or the other person as a conversation starter. It makes
everyone feel comfortable and connected and helps you meet new
people.
4. What do I say now?
In today's work and social arenas, it's important to know
how to make small talk. Regularly read the newspaper, magazines and
watch news shows so you have topics to talk about. Stay away from
controversial topics such as politics and religion.
5. Am I in charge?
When you head a committee or project - or volunteer as a
helper for your child's class - plan ahead so you stay organised
and focused. Get projects and reports done a day or two in advance
of your deadline; this extra time lets you deal with last-minute
issues.
Also, be sure the clothes you want to wear are clean and available
(not at the cleaners), fill your car's tank and set an extra alarm
to be sure you are up in time on an important day.
6. Whoops! I forgot to write a thank you note.
It is never too late to thank someone. Even if a couple of
weeks or even a month has lapsed, write a note expressing how much
you have been thinking about the nice gesture or the lovely gift.
Email thank-you messages are appropriate only when followed by a
hand-written note. A trick is to address and stamp an envelope
before you go to an event and have it sitting on your desk so that
when you return, it's easy to jot down a nice message.
7. Which bread plate is mine?
It can be overwhelming to sit down to a formal dinner and
have an array of plates, utensils and glassware before you and no
idea which ones you should use. Remember, your serviette and bread
plate are on your left and your beverages are on your right. If you
are concerned about your utensils, work from the outside to the
inside in the silverware placement. When in doubt, watch
others.
8. "Honey, this business function is your dinner
tonight."
At business affairs, avoid heading straight for food or
beverage stations. Use the event to make new friends, new
associates and new contacts. Keep your right hand free for a
handshake. Snack before a function so you are not ravenous. Eat and
drink near a table so you can put your beverage down and still have
a hand free. Take small bites, avoid dipping sauces and crunchy,
messy and other difficult-to-eat foods.
9. She has spinach between her teeth - what do I do?
Most people want to immediately know they have food
between their teeth, toilet paper stuck to their shoe, a label
showing or a spill on their shirt instead of realising two hours
later that they have been walking around that way. It's easy to
discreetly motion with your finger or quietly tell the person so
they can go directly to the restroom and fix their problem.
10. Actions speak louder than words!
The Golden Rule still applies for good etiquette in all
situations - for all genders: Treat others as you would have them
treat you. Both women and men should be comfortable helping others
with their coats, chairs, doors and the elevator. Even though
"gentlemanly acts of kindness" should be promoted in a social
setting, the business arena is gender neutral. Good posture, a
pleasant facial expression and appropriate eye contact will help to
make a good first impression and contribute to a positive
interaction with others.
MCT
