What was your first job?

Dressing up as a monkey at Forges in Footscray.

What did you get paid?

Peanuts.

Are you a saver or a spender?

Hey hey, big spender.

What was your biggest splurge?

A brand new car.

What was your best bargain?

Not that car — it got stolen a year later.

What was the best thing you've received for free?

Probably those pens from banks and the TAB with the long strings on them; and peanuts on a plane.

What is your greatest money-saving secret?

Getting a joint bank account.

What's the best piece of investment advice you have heard?

Keep an ear out for bargains and special offers.

What's the best piece of investment advice you've actually acted upon?

Taking up the offer from the guy at 7-Eleven and buying three Mars Bars for the price of two.

Credit cards are: a) great b) helpful c) a poor investment d) work of the devil

B.

Why?

So you can pay for your taxi home after you lose all your cash at the races.

If I was given $20,000, I would buy

... a racehorse.

If I was given $20,000, I would invest in

 ... shares in the TAB.

I'd be a millionaire if I gave up

... comedy and robbed a bank.