At least 30 per cent of workers have found love - or lust - at the office, numerous polls shows, and most haven't kept their feelings a secret.
It’s understandable really, given countless people have found 'The One' in the office. And since we spend so much time at work, why not dabble in a bit of workplace love?
Presenting the object of your affection with flowers might be a touch inappropriate.
A study by Ryerson University in Canada even confirmed that most employees don’t mind if their colleagues date, so long as the team’s performance and work environment aren’t disrupted.
The reality, though, is that it can be an awkward and uncomfortable experience. Rumours and gossip are inevitable. Someone might view a friendly request for a date as harassment. And messy break-ups could easily be on public display.
Research conducted by Westminster University found no evidence that an office romance impacts negatively on productivity ... until the lovebirds break up. And in most cases, the relationship ends while the couple still works together, with the ongoing tension making it difficult to move on.
But sometimes the attraction between two colleagues is too strong to resist. They just have to be together. So, for guidance, I spoke to Helaine Olen, the co-author of Office Mate: The Employee Manual for Finding and Managing Romance on the Job. She shared with me her dos and don’ts for matters of love at work.
First, the don’ts.
1. If you’re going to ask someone out on a date, don’t do it in the office
“If you don’t know them well enough to get them out of the office, you probably shouldn’t be asking them,” she says. “First, why would you want everybody to hear? Second, you’re putting the other person in a really bad position. And third, it could look like you’re using the workplace to get something.”
2. Just because it’s an office romance doesn’t mean you conduct it in the office
“That means not going to coffee or lunch together,” she warns, and that includes the coincidental catch-ups at the photocopy machine or the discreet little chats in the tearoom. She adds: “It means being more professional than you were before you were dating.”
3. Do not use company property to send messages to your loved one
Most employees don’t mind if their colleagues date, so long as the team’s performance and work environment aren’t disrupted.
Employees often forget they lose much of their right to privacy when they use company-owned computers, phones, and other technological devices.
“The IT guys might read this stuff,” says Olen, “and if you think it doesn’t happen, you’re wrong; it does. It’s not private at all.”
Well, that’s what to avoid. Here’s what to do:
1. Make sure you have more than just the workplace in common
“Familiarity breeds friendship,” she says. “If you’re only talking about your boss, maybe that’s a sign this wasn’t meant to be.”
Workplace couples often think they have a lot in common, but on many occasions it’s not true. They feel as though they have heaps in common, but usually it’s just because they work together.
2. Stay connected with other colleagues at work
“You and your loved one are not a self-contained unit,” she advises. “Make sure you don’t do that thing where you’re so in love that you let go of all your friends and co-workers. It’s bad on a professional level.”
3. Spend time after hours at places where you won’t bump into co-workers
The local bar near the office, for example, is a bad choice. When colleagues see colleagues getting intimate – even when it’s outside of work – it fuels the fire of workplace gossip. “If you give people something to gossip about, they will,” says Olen. “It’s enormously entertaining when this stuff goes on.”
Enormously entertaining, yes, but rarely for the couple involved.
Follow James Adonis on Twitter @jamesadonis